LAUGH OUT LOUD

JOKES OF THE DAY 

 1.A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street 
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop 
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously 
drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm 
drunk?"

Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I 
thought I was a cripple."

 2. A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.
"Reach up there and find out."
She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's 
gruesome!"
"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back
up there, it'll grow some more!"

3.A guy is screwing a great looking blonde. 
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?" 
He replies, "No." 
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again...!"